Wok the Fok, Man?!

I’m really just in awe with how big of a joke my life is today.

It all started when I woke up on Emily’s floor at 7:30.

Em is my good friend from high school that has luckily lived down the road from me in Boston for the last three years (through three different building moves!).  We keep each other cool, calm & collect… Oh and we know how to party like no other. 

She had class at 10 and we both left her place at 9:00. Her housemate’s mom gave her a ride downtown and I walked to my apartment. I knew how to get back and forth; we’re only a 10 minute walk apart. Plus, my mom dropped me off at Emily’s last night after she helped lug all my belongings into my new place.

Though I knew the way, I typed my address into my Maps App and followed my phone’s route for some reason. It had me cut through a park, which I was little airy about from the jump.

In the park, I saw a school’s gym class assembling on the blacktop, a possible drug deal & a man that asked me if I wanted “to ride” though he didn’t have a car, as he was also walking through the park…

~~

I moved into my new apartment about 30 hours ago but you wouldn’t be able to tell based on how chaotic my living room looks. Michaela doesn’t come til Saturday and who knows when the Cable Guy will come to give us Wi-Fi.

I could have gotten brunch this morning with my cousin Andrea, who’s also moving into Boston, and her mom but I opted out because I lined up an 11AM phone interview.

When I got back to my place, I charged my phone, put on some music to drown out the silence of my unfurnished apartment, and “showered.”

I wanted to hop in the shower before the interview to cool down & clear my mind.

Oops, forgot to buy shampoo.

I moved on quick from that though because I had conditioner,  the real necessity for my mane.

I know that Michaela is bringing the shower curtain so I brought the liner.  I went to assemble that along the shower rod.

Oops, forgot to buy hooks.

I took a quick shower, trying to not soak the bathroom since there’s obviously no rug yet & I don’t want to waste a clean fluffy towel on drying off the ground.

Clean enough, I called my interviewer at 10:58.

I thought it was going well. It was, I got the job.

Online the job description was $10/hr PR Intern for a clothing company.

It ended up being an unpaid social media internship to promote an online product.

The product? Butt pads. 

Yea, underwear with butt-boosting pads in it.

What the heck.  That was a waste of time & it made me miss mimosas with family in the North End.

The day continues with me sweating buckets as I clean the filth out of my windowsills and unpack some stuff. 

No, I didn’t buy any form of furniture to put my clothes in. No, I don’t have a desk to put my binders, portfolios and books in. Yes, everything is now just lying out of its perfectly packed box.

I know that decorating isn’t a true priority but I thought it would make me feel better to just get something off the floor.   I did what I could with Command-Strips. However, I decided I needed tape since thumbtacks are frowned upon in rentals.

I grabbed all 3 of my appt keys, locked up and went to the convenience store on my road to get tape.

The only option was a small roll of double-sided tape.  $2.80 before tax. Ugh

I also bought OJ while I was there, because chasers, duh. 

The half gallon of “Orange Flavored Juice” priced at $4.75 reassured me that I will not be taking that unpaid booty-frontin’ internship.

When I got home I, stupidly, expected the tape to be efficient.

Nope, it did not stay on my walls. I fought that tape and IT WON. Everything fell within twenty minutes of hanging.

On to the next one.  

To not go crazy in the house, and to be connected with the world I told myself all day that my first meal would be at 4:30 at a Wok n Talk Chinese Restaurant on my road. 

This agenda was determined by 1. I  noticed its hours are 4pm-3am (needed to give them time to set up shop completely) 2. They have multiple advertisements of free customer Wi-Fi 3.They sell bubble tea!

I get in the Wok n Talk, with my laptop, excited to be able to apply to new jobs, check emails, & do the usual 21st century teenage Internet browsing.

The Wok n Talk is conservative with their AC. I’m much cooler in here than in my apartment but they aren’t pumping it out like crazy, as I had hoped.

I was offered samples of their orange chicken & veggie lo mein because they recognized that they didn’t recognize me. Good welcome to my potential new hot spot.

I got my bubble tea. It’s bomb. Soy Milk Green Tea with red bean boba pearls.

I sat down & opened up my laptop.

Wok n Talk’s Wi-Fi is 100% not working.

The only real reason why I came in here…

Not the new hot spot.

They do have “Help Wanted” and “Now Hiring” signs though. Who knows, maybe I’ll need their paychecks more than I wanted their Wi-Fi.

~~

The day’s rock bottom will be located (in about ten minutes) at a laundry mat down the road that I’m about to sit in front of.

Why? Because I know that place has Wi-Fi for people waiting for their laundry to be done. How else am I going to post this and tend to my Career Shift account?

Don’t worry, there’s a bench.  I won’t be on the ground. Besides, I noticed a Northeastern boy doing the same thing this afternoon. Maybe it’s the thing to do while waiting for the cable guy/a job/your roommate/ laundry.

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One Comment Add yours

  1. velyoung01 says:

    Sorry your day was the pits, but this post was hilarious. It could be a sitcom episode. I lol’d at the shower scene, the butt pads, the wifi forecast, and the laundromat scene. Ya can’t make this stuff up. haha thanks for sharing!

    Like

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